A little child points: “The Emperor has no clothes!” But the cops are unable to distinguish between the dirty old lecher playing with himself on one park bench and the “respectable” nudist on another.
For sanitary and health reasons, the law requires TSA and hospital staff to wear gloves when handling travellers and patients. The Nudists’ self-enforced “etiquette” is insufficient. Nudists should be regulated too.
If San Francisco doesn’t care about its little children and must cater to Nudists; they should do it properly. Just as Liberals make gun laws for everyone, even the law abiding, because gangsters shoot indiscriminately; dog neutering rules because some dog owners are irresponsible; and demand disclosure of the caloric content of food products, even though they are available on the internet; Liberals need to issue detailed regulations for Nudists.
Let’s create a commission to regulate the size and texture of towels to be used by Nudists at every park bench, bus, train, theatre and at restaurants by customers, waiters and cooks … (and also on airlines???) They must be impermeable; have a clearly identifiable top and bottom; and vary in size depending on the bottom of the user, whose bottom would have to be officially measured every year. (Would doggie pee pads do the trick?)
Cops would ensure that only regulation towels are used and that Nudists’ hands are sanitary and not transferring pathogens from towel to bus strap, seat arm or dish being served. Modified toilet seat protectors and hand sanitizers would be supplied for Nudists, residents or tourists.
To cover expenses, the City would charge fees and issue licenses to Nudists. Nudists must carry licenses and towels at all times. But sans shirt or trouser pockets, our “Cool” Nudists would end up wearing nothing, but carrying dainty little handbags!!
Then, in the interests of full disclosure, (which, being the Nudists’ creed, they would agree to,) we would undertake a national “public awareness” campaign informing all would-be tourists that Tolerant and Liberal San Francisco now permits access to all its public accommodations to licensed Nudists carrying regulation towels! And not to worry, in all parks, buses, museums, theatres and restaurants, tourists will be provided with toilet seat dispensers and hand sanitizers!!
So … For the Holidays, do you want to go to San Francisco?
— Rohini DeSilva
November 25, 2012