We need to have some fun at Thanksgiving. So I’m sharing this little snippet of my next masterpiece: “Liberal Idiocies.”
Bankrupt Cities and State? Crime Rate? Jobs? Economy? San Francisco has more important things to discuss! Supervisor Scott Weiner (D); (no relation of Anthony Weiner (D-NY) who resigned from Congress after sending photos of his Weiner to assorted young women throughout the country;) ordered nudists to cover up when going to restaurants and sitting on public benches. The Nudists, of course, promptly stripped in protest. Police Officers, fearing charges of sexual harassment, had to drape shawls over the protesters before they could be arrested!
The Nudists want to be “free to live in a state of nature.” This “freedom” does not cover shoes, socks or even coats in the winter. And no, they will not go to an actual jungle. They want to turn San Francisco into an urban jungle with “Nudists” in shoes and coats!
The big issue occupying the great minds of San Francisco’s Liberals for the past year is not whether Nudists should walk around naked. To make noise about little children who cannot play in parks any more; or their parents and conservatives being grossed out at the disgusting public display of naked flesh; would be so uncool! San Franciscans have no time to tolerate conservatives’ objections or care about little children! You see, they have to be “cool” and “tolerant” before anything else.
The big issue is whether nudists should be required to place a paper or towel on the park bench before sitting down. This issue is being discussed very delicately, so as not to offend the sensibilities of the nudists, who are apt to disrobe when annoyed. But consider, what if someone had diarrhea? Or if they have some other disease? Surely, you are willing to share? Aren’t you ok with sharing a little bodily fluid being left on the park bench, bus or BART train that you are about to use?
Next, the City Council will have to issue very specific instructions on how the paper or towel should be folded up when the nudist leaves. Otherwise, when the nudist reuses the paper, he might place it wrong side down; so the part that came in contact with him at his previous haunt, is now in contact with the park bench!!
Why don’t we just skip all these deliberations and inform the public that henceforth, all parks, buses and other pubic transportation can only be used by Nudists?
— Rohini DeSilva
November 24, 2012